Almond Joy Cake

For almost four months, I've gone almost completely Paleo with my diet.  Almost.  On a normal day, you can bet that darn near everything I've eaten could have been gathered (or killed) by a cavewoman and I really like it that way.  It's not so different from how we used to eat anyway, but now it accommodates my pesky allergies and makes me feel leaner, clearer in the brain and less puffy.  All good.  Just officially call us Paleo converts.  

Oh, but this is not Paleo.  Not this glorious first success at baking something with alternative flours.  I have tried and failed at baking muffins, breads and cookies every single time I've attempted to bake without wheat flour.  Not this time!  Oh. My. Holy. Molasses.  You will gain three pounds in one weekend because of this cake.... not that I know from experience or anything. 

Working from a bunch of recipes, I mashed them together, modified them to suit my allergies and voila!  I tested it out on my very not allergic sister and husband who were also totally smitten with this cake that tastes like a candy bar explosion.  In my head I've already moved on to other toppings.  What about a big, fresh pile of raspberries on top of that chocolate?  Or what about no chocolate at all?  Vanilla icing with a sprinkle of cinnamon?  The possibilities are deliciously endless.  

Almond Cake with Dark Chocolate and Coconut Topping (Almond Joy Cake)

Cake:

1/3 cup  of coconut oil

3/4 cup of sugar

4 tablespoons ground flaxseed (flaxseed meal)
3/4 cup warm tap water

½ cup almond milk

2 tsp vanilla

1 ½ cups almond flour

½ cup coconut flour
1 tsp xanthan gum (optional)

¼ tsp salt

2 tsp baking powder

Add water to flaxseed meal.  Let this mixture sit for five minutes (until is has the consistency of egg whites).  Cream together:  – coconut oil, sugar, and flaxseed mixture.  Mix in milk and vanilla. 

In a separate bowl, mix flours, salt, xanthan gum and baking powder.  Add to wet ingredients and stir until blended. 

Bake in a greased spring form pan for approximately 35 minutes on 350 degrees.  Take out when golden brown on top. 

Chocolate Frosting with Coconut Topping:

1/3 cup coconut oil

4 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder

3 tablespoons powdered sugar

Fancy shredded, sweetened coconut

In a saucepan or microwave safe bowl, melt together coconut oil, cocoa powder, and powdered sugar.

Transfer to a bowl and let chill in the refrigerator for 15-20 minutes.  Remove and use hand mixer to whip frosting until it is light and fluffy. 

Spread over cooled cake, top with desired amount of coconut and enjoy. 

**Coconut oil has a very low melting point, so it will melt on top of even a cooled cake.  Ice the cake right before serving to ensure that icing will stay fluffy.  Store leftover cake in the refrigerator.  


Non-Dairy Chocolate Mousse as alternative to icing:

Store one can of full fat coconut milk in the refrigerator overnight prior to baking cake.   Scoop out the heavy cream that separates and sits on top of the coconut water.  Discard water or safe for other uses.  Mix in 4 tablespoons cocoa powder and honey or powdered sugar to taste.  This does not melt like the coconut icing does, but does add moisture to the cake.  Only add to the whole cake if you expect it to be eaten.  Instead top each piece as they are cut to save the cake from being mushy as leftovers.  

More Than a Cookie

I ate a cookie today. Well it was part of a cookie bar. And then I had another piece. I was like a heroin addict and one hit just wasn’t enough. This happened three hours ago.


Now I feel terrible. I felt nothing immediately or even within the first hour after my transgression.

Rewind to two and half months ago. It was Christmas time and about as soon as I got out of bed in the mornings, I was faced with some sort of cookie/cake/candy. On Friday, December 21st, I was released from the fall semester of school to enjoy my winter break. I’m sure I was looking forward to some free time most, but I was probably pretty stoked about the delicious holiday feast heading my way as well. That day also happened to be the day I had my follow-up appointment with my allergist.


In September I had a pretty scary fondue party experience that landed me in the hospital with a swollen esophagus. That night set in motion a series of tests and subsequent follow-up appointments. My follow-up with the allergist was the last one.

I knew the information about my food allergy test wasn’t going to be fun. After all, my environmental allergy test came back with news of a positive allergy for every single listed allergen possible. This had not changed from the last time I was tested in high school - still pretty allergic to cockroaches. It’s a good thing I like to stay away from them anyway…

My allergist was tentative and delicate about her delivery of the information. I now realize why. She began with a list of immediate reactors - wheat, barley, rye, oats, potatoes, corn, tomatoes, citrus, soy, peanuts, etc. Quite the list already and she still had part of the page deliberately covered up by another piece of paper. She moved that piece of paper down inch by inch as she described each allergy. Anything measuring higher than ten requires that I cut my consumption by half of my norm. Anything higher than 20, avoid all together.

Wheat was only at an 18.8 but because I have other grains on my immediate reactor list, she considers it higher than 20. Cow’s milk – above 30. Once they get to 30, they apparently stop counting… And egg whites? Well apparently I win the prize for highest egg white allergy she’s ever seen with a whopping 183. Now, I know I just said they stop counting at 30. Usually that is the case, but my charts were so weird they counted again just to be safe.

Because most of my already pretty “healthy” diet had just been obliterated in one fell swoop, my doctor has asked me to start small. When I incredulously asked, “What am I supposed to eat?” she replied, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Cut things out slowly.” That night I went home and finished off the small, once annually purchased carton of egg nog I had been savoring sip by tiny sip each evening.

The next morning, I woke with an absolutely debilitating headache. Hypothesis confirmed.
So for now, I focus on avoiding gluten, cow’s milk and eggs. Daunting already. Forget about the rest.

Back to that cookie. I originally gave myself until December 26th to eat without changing my diet. I made it through Christmas and the next morning, I cut out my “big three” completely. I have cheated three times that I can count since December 25th. I ate some cheese in the form of spinach and artichoke dip at a baby shower held at my house on January 11th, I ate the piece of chocolate I found in my school mailbox on my birthday, and I ate the roll that accompanied my salad at Panera on February 15th. Each time, I felt puffy and just not well.  It was more difficult to pinpoint at that time. 

What I realize now is that none of those things had egg white in them. The cookie bar I had today did. And I feel woozy. A little dizzy. And my head hurts really badly – nausea-inducing bad.

I think that even while I have been avoiding these allergens, I have not really been believing in my allergies until now. It took me thirty years to figure out they existed, but in the last two and half months I have felt considerably healthier. Things I had taken as normal are now no longer an issue – I have had far fewer headaches. In the first month I only had two! Usually I have four or five a week. My fingers aren’t swollen when I wake up in the morning. My brain feels clearer. I have lost a few pounds and my skin seems a little healthier.

That cookie was a reminder. I have to say it was delicious, but not worth this egg white hangover. I must remind myself of this the next time I’m presented with something irresistible.  Apparently, I am not Superwoman.  Who knew?

"Daphne Learns to Crawl"

Can you believe this girl?  Her development is happening so rapidly, I just can't keep up.  She is really loving her new freedom to roam the house these days and pushes the envelope every chance she gets.  So far, we've only had a few bumps and bruises, but since she has no fear I expect quite a few more.  This is a little easier for me than it is for Matt.  Sometimes, I think he'd put her in a protective bubble if he could!

 

Baby-Proof

I've been thinking a lot about baby-proofing.  To proof?  Or not to proof?

Daphne now is officially crawling.  It happened slowly.  First she rocked back and forth on all fours for weeks.  Then she was army dragging herself across the living room.  We think she was able to actually crawl on all fours about a week and half ago, but within the last two days, she has improved immensely.  Great, right?  Sure.  But now I'm faced with a kid who can move!  That's a whole new phase for these new parents.  I've never before been so concerned with how recently I've swept the floor.

I think I've decided not to get another gate.  We have one leftover from when my former pup, Griffin, was having a difficult time living in an apartment.  Dogs, babies - a gate is a gate, right?  Our house isn't large, there are no stairs, so I don't anticipate needing to use it on a daily basis. If we do, it will be to block our girl from the kitchen.  There are only two of us, but man I can make a mess in there.  Matt calls me a "dervish" as in whirling dervish when I'm creating a meal.  I usually cook and he usually cleans up my dervish after dinner.   Teamwork.

I know I have a lot to learn and each new day will teach me a new lesson about how to handle a crawling babe.  For now, I just want to throw things away.  We have too much stuff.  Too much, too much, too much.  I just told Matt this morning that I'd like to purge every area of the house.  I have no idea where to start, but here's the list.

• Kitchen pantry 
• Tupperware cabinet 
• Cabinet under the sink
• Laundry room closet
• Office Book Shelves 
• The living room entertainment center/shelves
• Office closet 
• Daphne's closet 
• My closet  
• The T-Shirt Chest 
• Our bathroom linen closet 
• My nightstand 
• The garage

That's pretty much the whole house....

Just today, I removed the trash can in the office.  It just had paper and a plastic bag or two in it, but it took Daphne about ten seconds to get to it and do this:

We no longer have a trash can in the office. 

I am trying not think too much about it, but I can't help but realize this is the beginning of my trying to protect Daphne from doing herself harm.  It's easy enough to clear shelves and make sure she stays away from sockets.  But what about when her feelings get hurt or she makes choices that are not good ones.  What if she's mean to someone?  What if she doesn't value her own safety?  I'm not sure I'll be able to handle that.  I work in a high school for goodness sake.  I know what happens there.  I know what happens when parents feel like their kid is spiraling or when they have no idea what is going on.  I know plenty of confident, happy young people, but I also know pregnant students, students who are mean to their peers, students who are bullied, students who make poor choices about drugs and alcohol, students who are on serious medications for chemical imbalances, students who are insecure about who they are.  

As she learns to have her physical independence, Daphne is going through her first month of "stranger danger."  She certainly has no fear of climbing up on the entertainment center, but if I walk to the kitchen to fill my water glass, she loses her marbles.  We've purposely been giving her some supervised alone time to play with her toys and explore by herself.  This obviously involves making sure she doesn't cause herself physical harm, but it also involves giving her the space to feel confident even when she's not engaged with us.  

So it begins.  The high-wire dance of giving her enough freedom to make mistakes and to learn, but not so much distance that she feels abandoned or without support. 

My Absence, My Return

After much encouragement from some dear friends and family, my desire to write, plus my own nagging guilt, I am back.  I don't even know where to begin.  Do I pick up where I left off?  Do I just jump in to my life today?  If this is meant to be a scrapbook of my life, how do I skip the most important eight and a half months yet?  But gosh, how long would it take me to catch up?

First, here are my reasons for not writing.  One, I'm busier.  Babies are time consuming in case you were wondering.  Second, I still can't write down her birth story.  It was hard.  It was painful and real and primal and so darn personal.  I never intended to air all of the nitty gritty on this blog, but I did feel like I owed it to myself and to Daphne to write a few words about her entry into this world.  And I had such writer's fear (this was so much stronger than your hum drum writer's block), I just couldn't do it.  And since I couldn't talk about the biggest thing that had ever happened to me, how could I write about the next thing?  Or the next thing after that?  There was a giant hole in my life story.

So what did I do?  I foolishly let that birth story hole turn into an 8-month hole.  Well, first it was a month and I thought, "I should just do it.  Write the post, even if I don't post it."  Then it was two, and three and so on...  You get the idea.  And here we are eight months later and that post still has not been written.

I've decided to call it my white whale for now.  Maybe I'll triumph one day, but I don't think I should let it stop me here and now.  For the time being, I will jump into our lives as they are now and throw in some "Throw back" posts if they seem to make sense.

I will leave you with a few pictures of our little chicken.  These are not necessarily my favorite, or the best quality, but I do believe none of these exact pictures have been posted on facebook or emailed.  I just cannot believe how much she's changed.

 [May 31, 2012:  One day old]

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