Baby-Proof

I've been thinking a lot about baby-proofing.  To proof?  Or not to proof?

Daphne now is officially crawling.  It happened slowly.  First she rocked back and forth on all fours for weeks.  Then she was army dragging herself across the living room.  We think she was able to actually crawl on all fours about a week and half ago, but within the last two days, she has improved immensely.  Great, right?  Sure.  But now I'm faced with a kid who can move!  That's a whole new phase for these new parents.  I've never before been so concerned with how recently I've swept the floor.

I think I've decided not to get another gate.  We have one leftover from when my former pup, Griffin, was having a difficult time living in an apartment.  Dogs, babies - a gate is a gate, right?  Our house isn't large, there are no stairs, so I don't anticipate needing to use it on a daily basis. If we do, it will be to block our girl from the kitchen.  There are only two of us, but man I can make a mess in there.  Matt calls me a "dervish" as in whirling dervish when I'm creating a meal.  I usually cook and he usually cleans up my dervish after dinner.   Teamwork.

I know I have a lot to learn and each new day will teach me a new lesson about how to handle a crawling babe.  For now, I just want to throw things away.  We have too much stuff.  Too much, too much, too much.  I just told Matt this morning that I'd like to purge every area of the house.  I have no idea where to start, but here's the list.

• Kitchen pantry 
• Tupperware cabinet 
• Cabinet under the sink
• Laundry room closet
• Office Book Shelves 
• The living room entertainment center/shelves
• Office closet 
• Daphne's closet 
• My closet  
• The T-Shirt Chest 
• Our bathroom linen closet 
• My nightstand 
• The garage

That's pretty much the whole house....

Just today, I removed the trash can in the office.  It just had paper and a plastic bag or two in it, but it took Daphne about ten seconds to get to it and do this:

We no longer have a trash can in the office. 

I am trying not think too much about it, but I can't help but realize this is the beginning of my trying to protect Daphne from doing herself harm.  It's easy enough to clear shelves and make sure she stays away from sockets.  But what about when her feelings get hurt or she makes choices that are not good ones.  What if she's mean to someone?  What if she doesn't value her own safety?  I'm not sure I'll be able to handle that.  I work in a high school for goodness sake.  I know what happens there.  I know what happens when parents feel like their kid is spiraling or when they have no idea what is going on.  I know plenty of confident, happy young people, but I also know pregnant students, students who are mean to their peers, students who are bullied, students who make poor choices about drugs and alcohol, students who are on serious medications for chemical imbalances, students who are insecure about who they are.  

As she learns to have her physical independence, Daphne is going through her first month of "stranger danger."  She certainly has no fear of climbing up on the entertainment center, but if I walk to the kitchen to fill my water glass, she loses her marbles.  We've purposely been giving her some supervised alone time to play with her toys and explore by herself.  This obviously involves making sure she doesn't cause herself physical harm, but it also involves giving her the space to feel confident even when she's not engaged with us.  

So it begins.  The high-wire dance of giving her enough freedom to make mistakes and to learn, but not so much distance that she feels abandoned or without support. 

My Absence, My Return

After much encouragement from some dear friends and family, my desire to write, plus my own nagging guilt, I am back.  I don't even know where to begin.  Do I pick up where I left off?  Do I just jump in to my life today?  If this is meant to be a scrapbook of my life, how do I skip the most important eight and a half months yet?  But gosh, how long would it take me to catch up?

First, here are my reasons for not writing.  One, I'm busier.  Babies are time consuming in case you were wondering.  Second, I still can't write down her birth story.  It was hard.  It was painful and real and primal and so darn personal.  I never intended to air all of the nitty gritty on this blog, but I did feel like I owed it to myself and to Daphne to write a few words about her entry into this world.  And I had such writer's fear (this was so much stronger than your hum drum writer's block), I just couldn't do it.  And since I couldn't talk about the biggest thing that had ever happened to me, how could I write about the next thing?  Or the next thing after that?  There was a giant hole in my life story.

So what did I do?  I foolishly let that birth story hole turn into an 8-month hole.  Well, first it was a month and I thought, "I should just do it.  Write the post, even if I don't post it."  Then it was two, and three and so on...  You get the idea.  And here we are eight months later and that post still has not been written.

I've decided to call it my white whale for now.  Maybe I'll triumph one day, but I don't think I should let it stop me here and now.  For the time being, I will jump into our lives as they are now and throw in some "Throw back" posts if they seem to make sense.

I will leave you with a few pictures of our little chicken.  These are not necessarily my favorite, or the best quality, but I do believe none of these exact pictures have been posted on facebook or emailed.  I just cannot believe how much she's changed.

 [May 31, 2012:  One day old]

[June]

[July]

[August]

[September]

[October]

[November]

[December]

[January]

[February]

She's Here!

Daphne Louise Foster made her debut on May 30, 2012 at 4:53pm.  She weighed 7lbs 12 ounces and is as healthy as can be.  She's been with us for one whole week and we just can't get enough :-)

We're going to try to keep up a weekly photo project for Daphne's first year.  Here are the first two photos!   

[0 Weeks]

[1 week]

Due Date

What does one do with the last few days of pregnancy when she knows there is a finish line?  I'm not sure yet.  Reminisce about this process?  Plan for the next few weeks (how on Earth do I know what to plan for...)?  Relax?  Clean?  Sleep while I still can?  Read?  Go to a Memorial Day BBQ?

I sort of wish I was still working.  It's Monday, and school let out last Thursday.  This is what I originally wanted - school to end, tied up in a little bow, and for baby to show up a few days later on schedule.  Now I'm not so sure the extra downtime has been good for my brain, but it is probably good I'm not with all of those people.

My job is so social.  There are my co-workers who are my friends, the co-workers I don't know as well, the students, the parents, etc.   It is one building that has over 2,000 people in it every day.   Sometimes that's great!  We're all in it together.  But during those times you just want to lay low, it can be a smothering environment.  My students (and this year I saw about 120 of them every day) were/are very excited.  They ask a lot of questions.  And they make a lot of comments with seemingly no filter.  My co-workers who are my friends have been supportive, but also watching me with baited breath.  My co-workers who are just acquaintances have been the most curious group for me to observe.  They want to make comments, tell their own birthing horror stories or ask the most PERSONAL questions.  And because they barely know me, changing the subject is out of the question.  The only thing they want to talk about is the baby.

This was making me a little crazy.  While I wanted to talk about all of this baby stuff with my friends, listening to a million comments from random people in the hallway to remind me every second that I was going to be a mom in a week was getting old.  I know that!  And I'm still processing that fact!  So let me be to stew and freak out a little without making it worse!

So, I've holed myself up with Matt for the weekend.  And it has been really, really good.  If I need it, he lets me cry or freak out for a minute, stays calm enough for both of us, and then we talk it out if I still need to.  Some of my favorite days are when we just spend the day doing "nothing."  Things like eating homemade pancakes and alternately cringing and laughing while we clean out the fridge together - among other chores, that's what we did yesterday.  I'm glad we had one more low-key weekend to hang before our family grows from two to three.

So while Matt works this afternoon, I sit at home with the Cardinal's game.  Just waiting.  And trying not to think too much.

Maybe I'll go unpack and repack my bag one more time.  Just to be sure.

Another Year Behind Us

The 2011-2012 school year is officially behind us!  Today I finished up finals with my two block classes (it's a presentation for ease of grading), finalized grades, cleared out all extra handouts and unclaimed assignments, and filled out my "End of the Year Checkout List." Tomorrow I return to the building for a few minutes to officially turn in said checklist, return a library book and clean out my classroom fridge.  For the first time ever, I'm not teaching summer school and even though I'll be taking care of a newborn, I don't have to think about school for many weeks.  Quite refreshing. 

I had a great group of students in the U.S. Studies Block class this year.  We usually had a grand time and everyone learned a lot along the way.  I am still surprised and happy about their reaction (and subsequent interest and pestering) about Baby Foster.  I really hope they come back to visit like Krissy (in the first picture below) did all year during her study hall.  

[With Krissy outside the Media Center]

[With Megan in my classroom]

[Again with Megan from the side....hmmm.]

[With Kia, photo bombed by Brandon.  Man, was I puffy today, or what? ]

Dont' get me wrong.  I'm glad to say goodbye for a few months - they were especially feisty this week and did a little dance right up on my last few nerves.  But the students in next year's crop have some pretty huge, and pretty hilarious, shoes to fill.

For now, FREEDOM.  For a few days, or hours....until Baby Foster takes over.