Due Date

What does one do with the last few days of pregnancy when she knows there is a finish line?  I'm not sure yet.  Reminisce about this process?  Plan for the next few weeks (how on Earth do I know what to plan for...)?  Relax?  Clean?  Sleep while I still can?  Read?  Go to a Memorial Day BBQ?

I sort of wish I was still working.  It's Monday, and school let out last Thursday.  This is what I originally wanted - school to end, tied up in a little bow, and for baby to show up a few days later on schedule.  Now I'm not so sure the extra downtime has been good for my brain, but it is probably good I'm not with all of those people.

My job is so social.  There are my co-workers who are my friends, the co-workers I don't know as well, the students, the parents, etc.   It is one building that has over 2,000 people in it every day.   Sometimes that's great!  We're all in it together.  But during those times you just want to lay low, it can be a smothering environment.  My students (and this year I saw about 120 of them every day) were/are very excited.  They ask a lot of questions.  And they make a lot of comments with seemingly no filter.  My co-workers who are my friends have been supportive, but also watching me with baited breath.  My co-workers who are just acquaintances have been the most curious group for me to observe.  They want to make comments, tell their own birthing horror stories or ask the most PERSONAL questions.  And because they barely know me, changing the subject is out of the question.  The only thing they want to talk about is the baby.

This was making me a little crazy.  While I wanted to talk about all of this baby stuff with my friends, listening to a million comments from random people in the hallway to remind me every second that I was going to be a mom in a week was getting old.  I know that!  And I'm still processing that fact!  So let me be to stew and freak out a little without making it worse!

So, I've holed myself up with Matt for the weekend.  And it has been really, really good.  If I need it, he lets me cry or freak out for a minute, stays calm enough for both of us, and then we talk it out if I still need to.  Some of my favorite days are when we just spend the day doing "nothing."  Things like eating homemade pancakes and alternately cringing and laughing while we clean out the fridge together - among other chores, that's what we did yesterday.  I'm glad we had one more low-key weekend to hang before our family grows from two to three.

So while Matt works this afternoon, I sit at home with the Cardinal's game.  Just waiting.  And trying not to think too much.

Maybe I'll go unpack and repack my bag one more time.  Just to be sure.